Holidays this year are… different.
I’m trying my hardest not to let life circumstances determine how happy and great the holidays will be. But it’s hard. I’ve been dreading this time of year because I knew what was coming and I’m SO not ready for it.
I won’t have Leo for 10 days and my heart aches and breaks at the thought of it.
It’s crazy looking back at my life only a few years ago. This isn’t something anyone ever wants or sees happening in their own lives. And when it does, the denial is strong. It was something I was terrified of because I didn’t understand it. I pushed back hard against the inevitable and fought it with everything in me. I didn’t want to be another one of those numbers that add to the statistics of divorce rates. I thought we could be one of those raving success stories that you hear about. And when I finally realized that wasn’t the case, it broke me. More than anything ever has.
But there’s hope. There has been utter heartbreak and chaos, but it’s all been the cause of beautiful transformation and rebirth. I love myself now more than I ever have. I’ve never felt so confident. I think I’m incredibly strong and can overcome anything thrown my way because I have God on my side. I’m really leaning into him. It has helped incredibly.
Life has been truly incredible for Leo and I. I’d say we’re the best little family ever, but that’s just my totally unbiased opinion 😜
So, for now, I’m taking advantage of all the “cuddle, mama?!”’s until our time apart comes. My heart will ache and miss him like crazy, but I know that it’ll make our reunions each time so beautiful and exciting. I will never take our time together for granted because of this, and I’d say that’s a really beautiful blessing.
Near or far, I will always have your back baby boy. I will always be there, waiting with wide open arms for you to come home to me again. And I’ll cherish all the cuddles, all the messes, all the tantrums, and everything in between. You’re my world, my greatest purpose, my everything. And that will ever, ever change, no matter what comes our way.
